My favorite purple is OPI’s Lincoln Park After Dark. It’s a deep almost black plum and it works on every skin tone (see this thread). For something brighter, Essie’s Play Date is a nice pastel purple for spring.
I get the staring-at-your-hands thing. If you want something between dark and pastel, China Glaze’s Grape Pop is a fun creamy grape. Do You Lilac It? from OPI is a classic. If you like a little shimmer, look for purples with a duochrome flip. Zoya has a few that shift between purple and blue depending on the light.